Well there you are....

Life kinda took me by the balls.

Finally I feel some sort of slight sanity....only by slight margins but there you go. Every time I wanted to write I just would have the feeling some huge life pressure cooker bearing down on me.

So we moved to San Diego, California. That was a big overhaul and life change. My husband has found a job here, and we made the choice to move back to North America. It was a bit of a crazy experience, the stress really took a toll on our family. Adjusting back to North American culture was a bit tough on everyone...and its taking a bit of time. Also this is our first time living in the USA, and yes its different to Canada. It just is...Canada and the US are different and thats ok.....but we had to adjust to this nonetheless.

I have to say this round of moving was our hardest, and really truly I don't wanna do that again for a while. The good news for us, is we finally found a home to live here in San Diego, actually we are north of San Diego in San Marcos, but a nice community. Closer to my husbands work. House hunting was a real process and logistics to buying a house here was.....lemme see..... complicated! But we have our house, and for the first time in my life I own palm trees. Loads of them. I'll post pics of our new place at a later date:)

I had to make some pretty big life decisions....mainly regarding my hip. A couple of MRI's later the health of my hip needed some serious rest or surgery. So I have went with rest and alot of physiotherapy, to see what I can do with this hip. Its helped a bit....but needless to say taking a break from dance to rest my hip has been driving me a bit cra cra. I'm looking forward to building my strength back up and to start training again....mainly to start creating again. Living outta boxes for almost 6 months has taken a toll....

And the biggest thing I'm struggling to blog about today is something deeply personal. I have gone back and forth on letting people know. But mostly I feel that sharing might be better for me.

Most recently this crazy journey I have been on has also included the fact that I have been pregnant. Surprise. Believe me it was a surprise for me. Next week would have been around the three month mark Last week was our first ultrasound, but the results were not good. It turns out I was diagnosed with a Blighted Ovum, there was nothing I could do, and was told I would miscarry. Several blood tests later confirmed all of this....and I scheduled my surgery. But my body and nature beat me to it....and I have been resting heavily at home for the last several days.

I'm not really wanting to get into the nitty gritty details, because I'm actually still dealing with the whole situation. Mentally and physically.

I have had some time to really reflect a bit on life in the last couple of days, sometimes life just tosses these things at you, and really you have no choice but to sit down and reflect. Life has been a bit rough around the edges lately....but you do realize just how precious everything is. And really there is no need to be having a panic attack about the small stuff. Im just grateful for what I have in my life. And really truly its a full plate.

Next week, I make my journey back to Vancouver, and then to Tribal Fest In Sebastapol. I look forward to seeing everyone again...to be with my dance family and friends....to heal... and to dance.....


much love,












http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/blightedovum.html

http://www.babylosscomfort.com/grief-resources/